It’s true: world-renowned psychologists like Thomas Gordon and Russell Barkley have already theorized and proposed strategies for communicating effectively and positively with their children and / or students. What is different then in this volume? Gianluca Daffi takes great inspiration from these figures and transforms their research and theories into a streamlined, simple and practical guide ready for use. Aimed at parents of children aged 6 to 11, the volume aims to help mum and dad face and solve the main daily challenges by focusing on a constructive approach and thus establishing a positive relationship with their children.

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Every day, parents of children aged 6 to 11 (but even younger and older!) find themselves having to resolve mini-conflicts with their children: from the struggle to get them out of bed in the morning to having them go to sleep early in the evening, from fusses made to avoid homework to those made to get something at the supermarket or not to tidy up your room. This guide reviews 20 of the most common problems facing parents of children in this age group.

20 daily problems with your children

1. Trouble getting up in the morning
2. It’s time to wash yourself!
3. Getting to school late
4. Watching out for dangers
5. Patience with homework
6. I can’t do it
7. Doing homework on time
8. Always the same story
9. I don’t want to go
10. Hurry up, it’s late!
11. Change of plans
12. Surviving the car ride
13. Everyone is looking at us
14. Wait a minute
15. After everything I do for you
16. Need for attention
17. Family agreements
18. Tidying up your room
19. Helping out around the house
20. Just a few more minutes!

Very often parents react to their children’s negative behaviors by reproaching them, giving them orders or, on the contrary, giving in to them in order to calm them down and solve the problem quickly.  However, these reactions do not help to resolve the situation and, especially in the long term, complicate family relationships.

Each of the 20 problems listed can be addressed by adopting a ‘positive approach’. There is a chapter dedicated to each problematic situation, written in a well-organized way according to 6 points:

• What we usually do: parents’ classic actions/reactions.
• The parents’ difficulties: explanation of the discomfort of parents, who often do not know what to do.
• Thoughts to keep under control: what are the attitudes to avoid.
• The strengths of the child: to be kept in mind, always. 
• What to do: the “heart” of the book is found here in the suggestions, inspired by finding balance, patience, and at the same time consistency, knowing that a great reaction on the parent’s part will eventually result in great results.
• …and if it doesn’t work?: further, practical advice to address that specific problem with other simple strategies.

Leaf through some selected pages from RESPECTFUL AND RESPECTED PARENTS, which have been translated into English to facilitate your evaluation:

By using the positive discipline, educational approach which is the basis of this book, and with simple and immediate language, Gianluca Daffi helps parents juggle the various daily problems of managing their children, thus favouring the construction of a relationship of mutual respect.

THE AUTHOR

Gianluca Daffi:
With a degree in Psychology and specialised in behavioural problems, he collaborates with the Department of Psychology and with the Learning and Educational Psychology Service of the Catholic University of the Sacred Heart in Milan. He has collaborated with IRRE Lombardy in the research group on personalisation and with the MIUR on the project for training and refreshing special needs teachers. A trainer for public authorities and private enterprises, he provides training for parents and teachers.