Language of the heart

Every parent wants the best for their child and wants to be the perfect mum or perfect dad. It may seem trivial and clichéd, but in day-to-day life — where children cry, get angry, scream like banshees and want things that are contrary to survival — things get complicated… and instead of relishing in the wonderful adventure of being a parent, we tend to see every reaction the child has as a constant test of our abilities.

Language of the heart, which is inspired by cognitive behavioural psychotherapy and especially Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, is a valuable manual with instructions, advice, suggestions and strategies to help mum, dad, grandparents and educators to:
• Bring up children without protecting them from their emotions, not even painful ones, thus teaching them to put up with the normal frustrations and difficulties life throws at them
• Listen to their feelings, without repressing, inhibiting or blocking them
• Accept their experiences and not try to «sterilise» them like you do with a baby’s bottle to keep germs away.

With the many examples taken from the clinical and personal experience of the author, which are easy to identify with and relate to, parents will be assisted in being more aware of their own values, in other words what they really believe is important to convey to their children, and in making an effort to recognise children’s rights to their emotions.

Warnings for mums and dads:
1.This is not a book which claims to be the book of truth or a general instruction manual on how to manage and bring up happy children. So nothing said here can be elevated to the status of general rule to be respected whenever, lest it end up in hell for mum and dad.
2. When reading this book, you may at times feel guilty or inadequate as a parent or angry with yourself or…  who am I writing to!  Don’t panic and don’t go and throw the book out of the window. If you are reading it or, in general, despite being tired you read something which is useful to your child, you are certainly a parent who cares about your child’s wellbeing. And this is the essence of bringing your child up well and happily.
3. If you feel inadequate and/or have trouble accepting the emotions you feel in thinking about the difficulties you face in bringing up your child, remember that first and foremost you must accept your painful thoughts and emotions, your fears and your difficulties; only after doing so will you be able to fully accept your child.